The Price of Freedom

Yes, the price of freedom. Normally when we hear that phrase we think of it in terms of sacrifice. Our mind conjures images of soldiers. Or maybe  we think of innocent civilians that lost their lives in some fucked off war. But what I am talking about is literal. The actual cost of it.

                                                                                         This is a painting my friend Anji made.

She's an amazing artist, proficient in a wide array of mediums. I even have a few tattoos from her! (please follow her blog) Of all her work I think this one may be my favorite. No, it's not some masterpiece that you're going to see in the Guggenheim that's going to forever change the landscape of modern art blah blah blah. None of that shit matters. I like this piece because it speaks to me. In fact, it fucking yells at me! This image embodies, for me, what freedom is. The open road.   

I've always had a love affair with driving and road trips. I think growing up out in the middle of nowhere when I was a teenager is what aroused these feelings. When you grow up in the country, everything is really far away. Your closest friend is a good thirty-minute walk away, if you're lucky. Maybe you have a bicycle and it's only ten minutes. But even worse, it's really hard to get away from your parents. Believe me, the last thing a fourteen or sixteen year old kid wants to do is hang out with their parents! DAMN! That car looks like a mighty tasty escape mechanism, don't it?! 

Winter Sunset 2

This happens almost everyday here. Again, if you want a full size copy, message me.

Winter Sunset

We have some of the most amazing sunsets here in Gardnerville, NV. I'd say three to four times a month this area offers some of the most stunning natural scenery I have ever seen. If only it weren't for all the shit telephone poles etc etc. I have taken hundreds of pictures of these mountains with the sun setting behind them, and there are hundreds, if not thousands, more to come. You will see many entries from me on this subject as time moves along. If there are any of these that you would like a full size copy of, leave me your email in the comments or pm me. Enjoy! 

Courage, Irony, and Wit

Just got back from a job interview. What a fucking humiliating experience. The hiring manager didn't even conduct the interview, instead having one of their shift managers talk with me. Asked me a bunch of stupid fucking questions for about five minutes then tells me that tattoos are against company policy blah blah blah. I am not meant to be a part of everyday society. I do not fit in. I can not participate in the power struggles of the minimum wage world, or office politics, or testosterone fueled elitism often experienced in manly man bullshit jobs like auto repair or construction or factory work. I'm sick and tired of dealing with customers on the terms of some bullshit company policy that doesn't allow me to be myself and take initiative of a situation, nor back me up when there's a conflict or a hurdle I am having trouble with. I'm sick of phone scripts, sales meetings, company policy handbooks, drug tests, math tests, comprehension tests, and the contempt in people's eyes when they see me. I am, at the core, an artist. Yet I have no tools to express myself in a medium that I am good at, or I have tools for things that I do not have the talent for. I am sick and tired of repeating myself to my family again and again and again that working for the last 20+ years has done nothing for me, and I see no point in continuing to try and conform to and live up to other people's shitty ideas of standards. I have been fired from just about every single job I have ever had. I have had a few jobs that paid very well, yet I have absolutely nothing to show for my efforts. I am completely at my wit’s end about what to do with my life. I have ideas and dreams but lack the funds that I need to achieve them. I wish I had the courage to end my life and just get this fucking shit over with already. The irony, of course, is that if I possessed any of the courage that I desire, I probably would not be in this situation in the first place.