So, fuck it. I have decided that I am going to go for a walk. A very long walk. I am going to procure what supplies and funds that I can, and am going to walk from my house here in Gardnerville, NV to Seattle, WA.
When this idea first struck me I did a little research online. Many many people have taken walks across America. As much as I would love to take a walk on that grand of a scale, I know that's a bit out of reach for me at this point. I decided that walking to Seattle would be a good way to start something like this. I've been on the west coast all my life and am fairly familiar with it. I've been to Oregon and Washington and lived in Seattle for a few years. I still have a few friends up there. According to Google Maps, it takes ten days to walk from here to Seattle. I don't know about that. I'm thinking that, with sleep and a few stay overs here and there, it'll be more like twenty to forty days. I'll start my walk in May or June to (hopefully) avoid any lingering Winter weather. When I get there the weather will be nice and warm and dry. Not sure how long I'll stay or how I'll get back, but I'm not really worried about that part for now. In the meantime I'll need to start training. Basically, just going for a nice long walk everyday. Depending on the weather, I'll probably walk to Reno a couple times. It'll help me with conditioning and getting use to any gear that I'll be using.
I know this is a rash and sudden thing to do, but I really just need to take control of myself and throw my life a curve ball and take a swing. If I don't do something this adventurous and dangerous then I'm just that much closer to putting a gun in my mouth. I literally have nothing to lose except for my life, which I feel is lost already.
If any of you have done anything like this yourself, I would love to hear about it, as well as any advice you can offer. I'm also going to need help in getting some supplies, which I may need your help with. In a few days or so I am going to make a list of things that I need, and if any of you have an item you can donate or loan to me I would greatly greatly GREATLY appreciate it.
In the meantime, my favorite Depeche Mode song just came on the radio, so I'll just leave you with that. Enjoy!
I made the move from Sydney to Wollongong (1 1/2 hours south) 9 years ago, and I haven't looked back. I still have moments of deep depression, like you are having now (being bipolar doesn't really help there. HAHAHA!!)... but I don't regret any of it. If it's something you want to do, I say do it. If there is any way I can help out - yes, even with money - then you let me know how and it is done.
ReplyDeleteTravel safe and be well. Oh, and I love this song. Thanks!! =D
Thanks POE! I just told my folks about it during dinner and it didn't go well. Didn't even get a chance to ask them if or how they could help because the first fucking thing to come out of my mother's mouth was "Why don't you just get a job?" It infuriated me. I just got up and left the table. I've always had a difficult time connecting with my folks. They're just so god damned domestic and normal. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but their lack of passion and imagination always leaves me empty. They're always willing to help me with things like a tv or computer etc etc, but when it comes to anything I want to do for the passion of it, they just can't compute and get all upset. It's very frustrating.
DeleteHmmm... Mine are the opposite, actually. Yeah, they're all about the every day, but they're also supportive of anything I do in a creative/mentally expansive/travel/learning/open to new experiences etc kind of way. It's great.
DeleteI say do it. I have seen only too often how fleeting and precious life can be (oh dear god, the clichés)... but it is true. Should you ever be able to come out my way, you're more than welcome to stay here, too. (I know. Unlikely. But at least you can call that another option!!)
Oh I would really love to come to Australia! If I can ever find a way, it's ON!
DeleteExcellent!! =D
Delete(And I just clicked to the 'subscribe by email' link. Let's see how this goes!!)
Testing testing testicles
DeleteMmmmmm... Testes....
DeleteSo did it work? Clicking on the subscribe link?
DeleteIndeed it did. I even get an email for my replies. HAHA!!
DeleteYessssssss!
DeleteWhat an adventure. Nothing but solitude and calorie burning to return to some center in your life. When I split up with my ex wife, I started kayaking every day for a couple of hours. I was LOST then as well. Everything I thought I could rely on, the bedrock of my life had disappeared, lost and gone forever. So, I had to find a reason to wake up in the morning. So I went balls out on the kayaking, read a lot of Rumi, got rid of accumulated emotional waste I'd built up over the years, and discovered who I was. Well, really more like found who I had become.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great idea Jim. Write everyday, take 100 pictures a day, dress in layers, drink a ton of water, and keep your phone charged.
T. Cox
Layering, yes! haha. Kayaking is something I have always wanted to try. Hopefully I'll be able to get around to that someday. Sounds like you did the right thing for yourself, which is exactly what I am trying to do. If you read my comment above you can see how my folks reacted. Thanks for reading and thanks for the support!
DeleteThat's fucking awesome!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Stacy! I'll keep you updated!
DeleteI think goals, targets, and activities provide motivation, accomplishments, and direction. I think it's awesome! Now quit talking about it with us and just send up pics along the way. Cause nothing sabotages anything like talking about it. If there's anything I can do for you. Please hit me up and I'll do everything I can. I expect pictures...
ReplyDeleteThanks Rich! Oh, there will be pictures!
DeleteI hope this comment finds it way to the board. I believe you can do it! Keep in frequent touch.
ReplyDelete--Mr n Ms G.
Oh I will most certainly be staying in touch my good friends! And yes, this will make it to the SG board, but when it's closer to the time that I leave for my journey. Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteI love the concept..I know you will need to train for that but I... thinking that you need to seriously plan this couple of things come to mind... survival plan & mental stability. If your wandering all over the place & you hit a bump in the road whom will or how will you kick that stone out of the way. I is wondering if what's the back up plan. See its like life..multiple plans just encase. I bring this up because use often an idea that becomes reality is fruitfill & sometimes it lands the person on the street!
ReplyDeleteCan't really plan for things that MIGHT happen, especially if they are things that are completely out of my control. If anything happens then I'll just deal with it when it happens. I'm honestly not too worried about it. And I will be thoroughly planning my route, not just "wandering all over the place".
ReplyDeleteI think it is a fantastic idea! Especially the practice walks in Nevada. When I am up at my mom's place in Cold Springs, I love taking long walks through the area. High desert is so beautiful. Be sure to take your camera on your training walks as well. You never know what you are going to find.
ReplyDeleteOh, I most certainly will be taking my camera, even on the training walks. Thanks for reading and thanks for the support!
DeleteThis post made me cry. To think your life is so useless that you could see putting a gun in your mouth and ending it all, saddens me greatly. You are just a lost sole who desperately needs to find his way. I will pray for you every day that you will discover life is worth living. I will pray to God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit to guide you and keep you safe in your journey, and that maybe you will come to know them. I would love to send you a book to take on your journey if you would like some reading material. It is a pocket size book that wont take up much room. It is the life of Christ. His journey from birth to the cross. It is in plain simple english and the best book I have ever read besides the Bible. Those 2 books have totally changed my life and my beliefs for the better. God loves you and wants you in His life.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry your parents are so closed minded about your I think much needed adventure. Unfortunately we don't get to pick our parents or siblings. You have friends and family who are with you all the way, so go for it. It will do you good. I hope you find what you are looking for. I will tell you that June in the north west states can still be very cold and rainy so pack accordingly. I would say wait till late June or July to start but you are probably already chomping at the bit to get out of a place that it sounds like is holding you back. I am excited for you and can't wait for all the wonderful stories and great pictures we will read about and see.
Never give up Jim. God loves you and so do I. Let me know about the book.
Thanks for reading and thanks for the support! Don't worry about me putting a gun in my mouth, though. As I have told many of my friends, I lack the courage to take that sort of charge. As for the book, thanks but not thanks. Jesus/God/Christianity has never really been my thing. And yeah, I know about the weather up in the Pacific Northwest. When I lived there it rained EVERY SINGLE FOURTH OF JULY! So I know it may still be wet, but it won't be as cold. And I know how to dress properly for that part of the world. Again, thanks for reading and keeping up!
DeleteGreat idea.......Walking shoes. My only advise. You'll need a good sturdy pair or three to keep from injuring yourself. That being said, shoot me your list when you finish it and I'll see what I can set you up w/. Happy travels. I Love you, Jim!
ReplyDeleteThanks Dana! I already have a lead on a one-man tent, and my folks are going to go ahead and just get me a new backpack. But I'll let you know. Love you, be well!
Deletethere's a place here in alsea for you to walk to and hang out on the way!
ReplyDeletethis is epic.
You're damn right I'm coming to see you! I can't wait!
Delete