Funny Yellow Cars and Birthday Shenanigans

Well God damn! It's been a while since I've updated here. Anyhow. So a couple weeks ago I finally got a job driving a cab in Carson City. A job that I just quit tonight. There simply was no money to be made. In fact, I actually lost money.

Compared to driving cabs in Sacramento, it's not a bad town to work. It's very small, it's the ONLY cab company in town, and there's really no bad neighborhoods or anything like that to speak of. But, as I mentioned, there's just no fucking money here at all. Most of the fares are about five bucks. And I would only get six to eight calls on a shift. Then you have to pay the cab company half of what's run on the meter, pay a five dollar lease fee, then gas the car up at the end of your shift. Most nights I ended up going home with less than what I started with. Only two times did I make more than what I started with, and it was only five or ten bucks. 

But that wasn't the only problem, of course. It seemed like a promising idea at first. I'd only be working three days a week, which would leave me plenty of time to focus my efforts on other shit I wanna do with my life like photography and exercise. However, getting back into this biz I found myself just going back to my old cab driving habits. Smoking too much, eating too much, and sleeping too much. On my four days off, I didn't do fuck all jack shit! What a fucking waste. I haven't been walking in weeks. And I'm suppose to be trying to work my way up to running. I've been a serious fuck off since coming home from my walking trip.

So as I was sitting in my cab tonight, two hours after I had done my last call and realizing that I was just going to lose money again, I started to give more serious consideration to a suggestion made by my friend Hez to get into truck driving. I'm well suited for long haul trucking, I think. I like to work alone, I hate having a boss hovering around, I like driving, and I like road tripping. Plus, living at my parents house is actually a nice bonus in this scenario. I don't have to worry about rent, and I can use it as my home base. If I got into this line of work, what I would like to do is dump as much of my pay as possible into paying off their house. Although all that's up in the air because my folks are going through some weird refinancing shit blah blah blah.

What worries me about all this though, is that I would once again just be enslaved to my job, and STILL not doing what I would like to be working on; running and photography. I dunno. All this shit depresses the fuck out of me, and frankly, I just don't know what the fuck to do anymore. I don't have any vision or passion or desire anymore. I've basically fallen back into "I just don't give a fuck" mode. I use to be able to see the future, and then I lost it. But when I was on my walk I regained my foresight superpowers. Now that I'm back, and not walking, and under pressure to earn some sort of income, my ability to see into the future has begun to diminish. 

Throughout most of my childhood I had a vision in my head of a place that was misty and forested with tall trees rich in dark green. And in that vision I was 27 years old. For whatever reason, when I saw this vision, I felt it was Oregon. Fast forward a bunch of years, to the age of 27, and sure enough I move to the Pacific North West. It wasn't Oregon, it was Seattle. Close enough as far as I'm concerned. Most of Washington and Oregon look pretty much the same. And they both look exactly like what I saw in my mind. 

Fast forward some more years, and now my vision is different. I've had this vision now for about the past ten years, give or take. Everything is faded away. And I'm all alone. None of my friends know where I am anymore. Although with this vision, there's no specific place or age. But as I get older, I feel that it's sooner than later. 

Speaking of getting older, I'll be forty on the 17th of December. A couple weeks ago my friend Lori threw a b-day party for us Sagittarius folks. We have birthdays at the shittiest time of the year. Well, shitty when you're a kid anyway. My mom never threw me a birthday party when I was a kid because she said that no one would come because it's too close to the holidays and that everyone would be on vacation or outta town or whatever. Thanks mom. It's nice to know I wasn't worth it. So here's a bunch of pictures form Lori's b-day party. Most of them are of her boyfriend Brian, being a rockstar in his underwear. I forced everyone at the party to take a picture with him, because I'm a fucking dick! ENJOY!